Bette Midler
Sexy

Bette Midler made it big honking her humungo hoots in gay bathhouses in the late ’70s. Brassy, ballsy, and bubbling with boobage, Bette is a hardcore, hefty-teated treat for heteros and homos alike. Bette’s vociferous voice and booming breasts made for an orgiastic, ogle-some good time, and it didn’t take long before Bette teamed with Barry Manilow to create some top ten records and take home the Emmy for “Outstanding Special-Comedy-Variety or Music” for her TV special Ol’ Red Hair is Back. But while she had already showed up in a couple uncredited movie roles, Miss M is most divine in off-the-beaten-path films like The Rose (1979). Extra sexy as the Janis Joplin-esque randy rocker with hi-fi cleavage and kicks and screams that will haunt your wet dreams, Bette is a beastly babe worth her weight in wank. Each shout of “Hello mother f**ckers!” and shot of her shapely milk sacks will have you moaning till morning over the Midler. Bette scored an Oscar nomination for the role, but didn’t bring home the one award that has stopped her from attaining EGOT status. Instead, Bette was next seen shaking her set in a bikini and one-piece onstage in Divine Madness (1980). Bette’s heavenly hangers worked steadily in movies like Outrageous Fortune (1987), Big Business (1988) and Beaches (1988), the Midler-Barbara Hershey jerk to her tearjerker which featured her Grammy winning hit song “Wind Beneath My Wings.” While a flop at the time, Bette’s become well known for her role as the witch, Winifred Sanderson in Hocus Pocus (1993), but if you’re only familiar with Midler from her intentionally ugly role in that Halloween classic, check out the shawty with the body in Get Shorty (1995). Bette seduces Gene Hackman in a black nightie that hugs her thick thighs and barely contains her royal ten pound bombs. Or take a look at Then She Found Me (2007), which shows Bette in a dress shirt with no pants underneath. Bette has been steadily working on the big screen in films like Parental Guidance (2012) alongside Billy Crystal, but was most recently seen on HBO’s Covid dramedy Coastal Elites (2020). We wish she’d have shown her elite body in all it’s glory. Did you ever know you’d be our hero? If everything you would let us see!